Avoidance Never Leads to Healing

By Mary Ann Wray

2 Samuel Chapters 13-18 Text and Context...

As a father over his own family, David failed to properly address the rape of his daughter, Tamar. Absalom, one of David's sons, became enraged about his sister Tamar's abuse by his brother Amnon. David's failure to address this family matter by avoiding it, created a root of bitterness in Absalom that led to his murder of Amnon and later on his rebellion against his father, David. Absalom's bitterness only led to his own demise.

You see, one’s failure to properly address a difficult situation or lack of involvement therein, does not excuse its outcome or one’s responsibility in the matter. Failure to do so only adds to the dysfunction. This family matter didn't end well for Absalom or David although it could have been reconciled.

Through humble confrontation, open communication, repentance and forgiveness, reconciliation is possible but it takes hearts of humility. All parties have to be willing to see and admit their malfeasance in the matter. Avoidance, retaliation and blame shifting healed nothing in this family. Tamar was victimized yet demonized by her abuser. David failed to address it and Absalom retaliated.

The good news is that David's failure to properly address the situation did not lead to a downfall as it did with his son Absalom.
However, under a different set of circumstances, David's own sin of murder led to his demise in not being able to build God a house; It wasn't his failure to properly address his son and daughter's dysfunction. David was called out by the prophet Nathan and repented. This begs the question, what do we do when our sin finds us out? David, a man after God's own heart, though not perfect, washed himself, went to the temple and worshiped God in repentance.

How well we handle injustice and dealing with our own sin determines the outcome for us-not what others do and say or don't do and say. God is faithful and just and judges all matters impartially.